You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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