I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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