i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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