Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
