Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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