I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
