Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
