Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
