dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
