Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she woke up with a sticky ear
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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