Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
