i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
