Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
