She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
