my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He kissed a someone with a penis
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
