Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so let's talk penis.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
