this is something i pride myself on being below average for
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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