@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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