I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
