I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
