this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
