I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
My vagina is officially offended.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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