Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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