David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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