So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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