dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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