Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
