i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
