He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
