So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
