Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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