Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
