Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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