Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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