so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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