it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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