On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
