Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
