ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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