Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
