I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
