Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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