hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well I just put wine in my tea
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm like, not good at living.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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