I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
