so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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