We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I have already put on my inside pants.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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