Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
