He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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