you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
