I skipped work to stalk him.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
