So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
