Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize