Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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