Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
