I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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